One of the most annoying things is for all your friends to start giving you unsolicited parenting advice whether or not they have kids of their own. Yet after you have been a parent for a few years, you start getting the itch to share a few unsolicited worlds of advice to others. Ah… The cycle of life goes round and round.
It is not that people can share advice. Rather, it is a matter of picking your moments. You might also want to curb your enthusiasm just a smidge. Giving too much advice can be read as being controlling or judgmental. Your friends don’t need the vibe that you think everything they do is wrong and that you have all the answers. That is the best way to get your advice ignored and resented. No one is doing everything wrong. You will get more mileage if you sprinkle in acknowledgements on the good decisions they are making. Find something they are doing well and thank them for exposing you to it. Only then should you offer a suggestion of your own. Here are a few suggestions that will help just about any new mom in your life:
Tips for Stopping Thumb Sucking
Every child sucks their thumbs and fingers. It is nature’s pacifier. But it isn’t a very good one for the long term. If left unchecked, it can have some nasty consequences involving oral deformities. At some point, all parents will want to stop their kids from thumb sucking. The trick is figuring out the best way to do it.
When the subject comes up, you can tell them all about the thumb sucking devices you have tried that worked for your kid. Avoid being too evangelistic at this point and realize that not all devices and methods work the same way for all children. What worked for you might not work for them. What didn’t work for you might be just the thing they were looking for.
Because we have the benefit of technology, don’t just tell them about your favorite solutions. Send them a link so they don’t have to spend half a day searching for it and coming up with the wrong thing. If they seem very concerned about their child’s thumb sucking, share with them the research showing they have roughly between the ages of 3 and 6 to make it happen. In that time, it is not a crisis, just a goal, and a very achievable goal at that.
Tips for Their First, Big Party
Your little one is growing up and he has already had his first, big party. There is a long list of unknowns to navigate. You have likely made every mistake in the book and that makes you the perfect candidate to share hard-won tips. Here are a few questions parents will face when planning a children’s party:
- How old should my child be for his first party?
- How big do the presents need to be?
- Should we serve traditional, sugary cake and other treats?
Really, just say NO to clowns. Another great tip is to keep it fun and manageable. Oftentimes, the really big party is more for the parent than the 4 year old. Your stress will be passed on to your child. So keep his desires in mind and keep it simple. The most important part of a party is friends and fun. That is true at any age.
Tips on When to Call the Doctor
With a newborn, it is hard to know when to call a doctor. They tend to cry a lot. For the first phase of their life, crying is not just a job; it’s a career. And babies take it very seriously. You also have to take it seriously, and that means knowing when a doctor needs to intervene. It is going to be a lot less often than you think. For a newborn, every mild discomfort is a show-stopping crisis. Once your newborn is past this phase, find ways to share this information with your friends who are going through it.
Don’t be the person people avoid at parties because you are always giving advice that nobody wants. Find appropriate ways and times to share appropriate tips for how to stop thumb sucking, dos and don’t for the first, big party, and when to take a newborn to see a doctor.